{{Lyrics
|group=[[IOSYS]]
|titlejp=第３幕「山林管理事務員コチヤの憂鬱」
|titlerom=
|titleen=Act 3: "The Melancholy of Mountain and Forest Administration Officer Kochiya"
|length=03:59
|arranger=D.watt {{溝口ゆうま}}
|lyricist={{七条レタス}}
|vocalist={{lang|ja|山本椛 イザベル 神波千尋}}
|source=
*original title: {{lang|ja|信仰は儚き人間の為に}}
*source: {{MoF}}
*original title: {{lang|ja|少女が見た日本の原風景}}
*source: {{MoF}}
|album1={{LyricAlbum|東方泡沫天獄|IO-0149.jpg}}
|kan1=
いや～　こうやって呑む酒といったらないね～
グッドミュージックにグッドドリンクだよ　はっはっはっはっ
|kan2=
あんまり呑みすぎると　また面倒なことになるぞ～
大人なら最低限のマナーっちゅうのをね～
|kan3=
大人って……　少女って言ってくれよ　ぐはははは……
|kan4=
少女だったらなおいかんわ～　あ～
|kan5=
健全安全　治安維持活動
神さまも一緒に巡回中です!
場内に　目を光らせて
楽しいイベント　作り上げましょう
|kan6=
毎度お騒がせしておりま～す　守矢神社山林管理事務所で～す
山の治安維持のため　現在パトロールを行なっておりま～す
イベント健全運営のため　ご協力下さ～い
|kan7=
お～……
|kan8=
あははははは
|kan9=
法令遵守　秩序保つため
違法行為を取り締まリましょう
|kan10=
いや～　また大げさなのが来たな～
|kan11=
多分お金も出ないんだろうに～　殊勝やね～
|kan12=
こらそこ！　ごみをその辺に散らかしてはいけません！
次回から開催できなくなっちゃいますから！　ガシャン！
|kan13=
お～っと　逮捕～？
|kan14=
ちょっとそこ！　未成年の喫煙は法律で禁じられていますよ！
ダメ！　そういうのはダメ！　ガシャン！
|kan15=
これも逮捕～？
|kan16=
い～や～！　そこ　何してるんですか？
そういうのは然るべきところで！　誰も見ていないところで！　ガシャン！
|kan17=
現行犯逮捕～！
|kan18=
見てないところだったらよろしいのかね～？
|kan19=
頑張ってるよ　ははははははは
|kan20=
取り締まれよ　取り締まれよ　風紀の乱れ
取り締まれよ　取り締まれよ　清く正しく
|kan21=
硬い事言うなよ　硬い事言うなよ　こんな夜じゃないか
|kan22=
取り締まるよ　取り締まるよ　例外はありません
|kan23=
こらそこ！　そこの黒白！
|kan24=
何だ　私か？
|kan25=
そういえば君は未成年だったような気がするな～
幻想郷で未成年の飲酒とか禁止のような
|kan26=
とりあえず逃げるぜ！
|kan27=
うん　逃げたらいい　逃げたらいい
|kan28=
おまえも来い！
|kan29=
逃げるんじゃない！　止まりなさい！
|kan30=
逃げ延びて　伝えよう
借りた本忘れてたよ　もうちょっと借りてていい？
|kan31=
逃げ延びたら　伝えよう
バラして戻したら　ネジ一本余っちゃって
ごめんなさい　すいませんすいません　大丈夫大丈夫
|kan32=
追いかけて　吐かせてやろう
芋づる式　余罪まで
|kan33=
逃げまどって　
|kan34=
追いかけて
|kan35=
音の海を　掻き分けよう
|rom1=
Iyaa, kou yatte nomu sake to ittara nai nee
Good music ni good drink da yo, ha ha ha ha
|rom2=
Anmari nomisugiru to mata mendou na koto ni naru zoo
Otona nara saiteigen no manner tchuu no wo nee
|rom3=
Otona tte... shoujo tte ittekure yo, guha ha ha ha...
|rom4=
Shoujo dattara nao ikan waa, aa...
|rom5=
Kenzen anzen chian iji katsudou
Kamisama mo issho ni junkaichuu desu!
Jounai ni me wo hikarasete
Tanoshii event tsukuriagemashou
|rom6=
Maido osawagase shite orimaasu, Moriya Jinja Sanrin Kanri Jimusho deesu
Yama no chian iji no tame, genzai patrol wo okonatte orimaasu
Event kenzen un'ei no tame gokyouryoku kudasaai
|rom7=
Oo...
|rom8=
Ahahahahaha
|rom9=
Hourei junshu chitsujo tamotsu tame
Ihou koui wo torishimarimashou
|rom10=
Iyaa, mata oogesa na no ga kita naa
|rom11=
Tabun okane mo denai n darou ni, shushou yanee
|rom12=
Kora, soko!
Gomi wo sono hen ni chirakashite wa ikemasen!
Jikai kara kaisai dekinaku nacchaimasu kara! Gashan!
|rom13=
Oo tto, taiho?
|rom14=
Chotto, soko!
Miseinen no kitsuen wa houritsu de kinjirarete imasu yo!
Dame! Souyuu no wa, dame! Gashan!
|rom15=
Kore mo taiho?
|rom16=
Iyaa! Soko, nani shiteru n desu ka?
Souyuu no wa shikarubeki tokoro de!
Dare mo mite inai tokoro de! Gashan! Gashan!
|rom17=
Genkouhan taiho!
|rom18=
Mitenai tokoro dattara yoroshii no ka nee?
|rom19=
Ganbatteru yo, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
|rom20=
Torishimare yo, torishimare yo, fuuki no midare
Torishimare yo, torishimare yo, kiyoku tadashiku
|rom21=
Katai koto yuu na yo, katai koto yuu na yo
Konna yoru ja nai ka
|rom22=
Torishimaru yo, torishimaru yo, reigai wa arimasen
|rom23=
Kora, soko! Soko no kuroshiro!
|rom24=
Nan da? Watashi ka?
|rom25=
Sou ieba, kimi wa miseinen datta you na ki ga suru naa...
Gensoukyou de miseinen no inshu toka kinshi no you naa...
|rom26=
Toriaezu nigeru ze!
|rom27=
Un, nigetara ii, nigetara ii
|rom28=
Omae mo koi!
|rom29=
Nigeru n ja nai! Tomari nasai!
|rom30=
Nigenobite tsutaeyou
Karita hon wasureteta yo
(Mou chotto karitete ii?)
|rom31=
Nigenobitara tsutaeyou
Barashite modoshitara
(Neji ippon amatchatte)
(Gomennasai suimasen suimasen daijoubu daijoubu)
|rom32=
Oikakete hakasete yarou
Imozuru shiki yozai made
|rom33=
Nige madotte
|rom34=
Oikakete
|rom35=
Oto no umi wo kakiwakeyou

|eng1=
Man, there's no better way to drink sake than this
Good music and good drinks, ha ha ha ha
|eng2=
It's going to get troublesome again if you end up drinking too much
If you're an adult then do things more minimally
|eng3=
Adult, you say... call me a young girl, guha ha ha ha...
|eng4=
If you're a little girl then it's even worse, ah...
|eng5=
Decency, safety, keeping the peace
Together with the gods, I'm on patrol!
On the grounds, my eyes glitter
Let's make this a fun event
|eng6=
Announcing as usual, this is the Moriya Shrine Mountain Forest Management Offiiice
We're currently patrolling for the sake of preservation of the mountain's peeeace
Please help us in managing the purity of this eveeent
|eng7=
Oh...
|eng8=
Ahahahahaha!
|eng9=
Following the law, preserving order
I'll control the illegal acts
|eng10=
Man, these showy guys came again...
|eng11=
They probably don't have any money, either. How admirable...
|eng12=
Hey, you there!
You can't just leave your garbage there like that!
We won't be able to hold the event here next time! Ka-click!{{ref|handcuffs}}
|eng13=
Oh, an arrest?
|eng14=
Wait a second, you there!
Underage smoking is prohibited by law!
It's bad! That kind of thing is bad! Ka-click!
|eng15=
An arrest for that, too?
|eng16=
Aaah! You there, just what are you doing?
There's a proper place for that kind of thing!
Somewhere where nobody can see you! Ka-click! Ka-click!
|eng17=
Arrested in the act!
|eng18=
So it's okay if it's in a place where nobody can see you, huh?
|eng19=
She's trying real hard, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
|eng20=
I'll control them, I'll control them, disturbances of decency
I'll control them, I'll control them, pure and proper
|eng21=
Don't be so uptight, don't be so uptight
It's that kind of night, isn't it?
|eng22=
I'll control them, I'll control them, there are no exceptions
|eng23=
Hey, you there! You black-white!
|eng24=
Huh? Me?
|eng25=
Come to think of it, I get the feeling you were a minor...
Drinking alcohol might have been forbidden for minors in Gensokyo...
|eng26=
Anyway, let's run for it!
|eng27=
Yeah, you should run, you should run...
|eng28=
You come too!
|eng29=
Don't run! Stop!
|eng30=
I'll tell you while I make my escape
I forgot the books I borrowed
(Can I borrow 'em for a bit longer?)
|eng31=
If we're making our escape I'll tell you
I took it apart and put it back together
(I left out one screw)
(I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, it's okay, it's okay)
|eng32=
Chasing, I will catch them
I'll round them up one by one, even for previous crimes
|eng33=
Running around trying to escape
|eng34=
Chasing them
|eng35=
Pushing our way through the sea of sound
|notes={{note|handcuffs}} The sound of handcuffs. Yes, Sanae says this out loud.
}}