{{Lyrics
| group         =[[Conagusuri]]
| titlejp       =カパネットにとり
| titlerom      =Kapanetto Nitori
| titleen       =Kapanet Nitori
| length        =04:35
| arranger      =MiYAMO 
| lyricist      ={{lang|ja|いずみん}}
| vocalist      ={{lang|ja|愛空アキハ}}, {{lang|ja|いずみん}}, MiYAMO 
| other_staff   =
| source        =
* original title: {{lang|ja|芥川龍之介の河童 ～}} Candid Friend
* source: {{MoF}}
| album1        ={{LyricAlbum|東方河童乃薬|CNCD-0012.jpg}}
| album2        ={{LyricAlbum|Sacredess Fantasy Ship|OMK-05.jpg}}
| album3        ={{LyricAlbum|こなおとREMIXES|OMK-14.jpg}}
| extra_info    =
* [http://www.conagusuri.com/sp/cd12/ Official Promotional Video] by [[TETLA POT]].
* A remix by MUZIK SERVANT was released in [[Sacredess Fantasy Ship]] (track 10) and [[こなおとREMIXES|ConaOTO REMIXES]] (track 2).

|kan1=
にとりはんが仕事で忙しいのはわかりますえ。
せやけど、少しは博麗神社のこともかんがえてもらわんと。
霊夢か、これを作ってたんや。
ほんま、うちのお賽銭使い倒して…にとりはん？
…ウッ！
|kan2=
がっはっはっー！よってらっしゃいみてらっしゃい！
（北の町をほろぼせー）
今日も他社に負けないボッタクリ価格で、
（南の町はうめろー）
いつもニヤニヤ現金払い
（東の町はもやせー）にとりのウルトラぼったくりテレビショッピングっ！
（西の町はみずぜめだー）
はじまるよーっ！
|kan3=
ゆっくーりーかってってーいってーねー！
{{lang|en|SAGI}}☆{{lang|en|DETH!}}
|kan4=
かっぱかっぱー屋　かっぱかっぱー屋　かっぱかっぱー屋
原価百倍アンパン麺
かっぱかっぱー屋　かっぱかっぱー屋　かっぱかっぱー屋
イルカのコピー絵100万円！
かっぱかっぱー屋　かっぱかっぱー屋　かっぱかっぱー屋
空箱送ってボロ儲け！
かっぱかっぱー屋　かっぱかっぱー屋　かっぱかっぱー屋
お電話大変混んでま～す（爆笑）
|kan5=
さあさあ皆さんこれを見て
本日紹介しますのは
何でもかんでもだいたいスパスパと斬れちゃう
魔法のようなスライサー☆
（みょおおおおん！？）
ご覧になってこの切れ味
きゅうりをスパスパとー！！
んー？　なん…だと…
これはきゅうりじゃない？オクラだあああ！！
にっとりとりになりましたっ
（やぁん☆）
|kan6=
不況の波は私にも操れないからっらっ
ランランルールーいぇえええええい！
（お値段以上！）
|kan7=
河童の谷からあなたへ
ナイスなアイテムお届け（空箱だけどね）
幻想郷だけじゃ足りない（世界征服）
もっとてかってかな笑顔を（私の笑顔ね）
|kan8=
河童の谷からあなたへ
ナイスなプライスお買い得（原価1000倍）
お値段以上の価値を（仕入れ値的にね）
もっとにとにっとな「ありがとー」を！
|kan9=
かーっぱかっぱーかっぱかｐ…
とにかく買ってっていってね

|rom1=
"Nitori han ga shigoto de isogashii no wa wakarimasu e.
Se ya kedo, sukoshi wa Hakurei Jinja no koto mo kangaete morawan to."
"Reimu ka, kore wo tsukuttetan ya."
"Homma, uchi no o-saisen tsukai taoshite... Nitori han?"
... U!
|rom2=
Gahhahhaa! Yotte rasshai mite rasshai! (Kita no machi wo horobose~)
Kyou mo tasha ni makenai bottakuri kakaku de, (Minami no machi wa umero~)
Itsumo niya-niya genkin barai (Higashi no machi wa moyase~)
Nitori no Urutora Bottakuri Terebi Shoppingu! (Nishi no machi wa mizu-zeme da~)
Hajimaru yoo!
|rom3=
Yukkuurii katte ttee ittee nee!
SAGI☆DETH!{{ref|deth}}
|rom4=
Kappa Kappaa ya (x3)
(Genka hyaku-bai ampan-men)
Kappa Kappaa ya (x3)
(Iruka no kopii-e hyaku-man-en!)
Kappa Kappaa ya (x3)
(Kara-bako okutte boro-mouke!)
Kappa Kappaa ya (x3)
(O-denwa taihen konde maasu) (bakushou)
|rom5=
Saa saa, minasan, kore wo mite
Honjitsu shoukai shimasu no wa
Nan demo kan demo daitai supa-supa to kirechau
Mahou no you na suraisaa (Myooooon!?)
Go-ran ni natte, kono kire-aji
Kyuuri wo supa-supa too!!
Nn? Nan... da to...
Kore wa kyuuri ja nai? Okura daaaa!!
Nittori-tori ni narimashita
(Yaan☆)
|rom6=
Fukyou no nami wa watashi ni mo ayatsurenai kara-ra-
Ran-Ran Ran-ran-ruu-ruu yeeeeeei!
(O-nedan ijou)
|rom7=
Kappa no Tani kara anata e
Naisu na aitemu o-todoke (karabako dakedo ne)
Gensoukyou dake ja tarinai (Sekai seifuku)
Motto tekatteka na egao wo (Watashi no egao ne)
|rom8=
Kappa no Tani kara anata e
Naisu na puraisu o-kaidoku (Genka sen-bai)
O-nedan ijou no kachi wo (Shiire-ne-teki ni ne)
Motto nitonitto na "arigatoo" wo!
|rom9=
Kaappa kappaa kappa ka...
Tonikaku katte tte itte ne


|eng1=
"I understand you're busy.
That's alright, but you haven't thought about the Hakurei shrine for even a wee little bit."
"Reimu, I made this for ya!"
"Really? Using every bit of my donations, Nitori?"
Pfft!
|eng2=
Gahahaha, welcome and browse! (destroy the northern village)
We're not losing to another company's rip off prices today! (bury the southern village)
We always smile, paying cash! (burn down the eastern village)
Nitori's ultimate rip off television shopping!!! Starts Now!!!(cut off the western village's water supply!)
|eng3=
Come on in and take your time buying things!
SAGI☆DETH!
|eng4=
Kappa~ Kappa store!x3
(Anko Bun with noodles a 100 times its original cost!)
Kappa~Kappa store!x3
(A copy of a dolphin painting for one million yen!
Kappa~Kappa store!x3
Sending you various run down empty boxes!
Kappa~Kappa store! x3
Telephone calls are coming in~ (laughter)
|eng5=
Come, come, everyone, come and look at this.
Today I'll be introducing to you
something that usually cuts down anything quick
A magic-like slicer!
(Myoon!?)
Look at its sharpness.
When it chops cucumbers like so!
Huh? What did you say?
This isn't cucumber! This is okra!
It becomes just like so!
(Yaan☆)
|eng6=
The waves of recession won't control even me
Ran-Ran Ran ran ru ru YAAAAAAAAY!
(above all prices)
|eng7=
From the Valley of Kappa
we deliver to you a nice item! (It's an empty crate though)
Gensokyo by itself isn't enough! (World domination)
We need more gleaming smiles! (Like mine)
|eng8=
From the Valley of Kappa
We give you nice price bargains!
(thousand times the original price!)
A value greater than its price!
(stocking costs)
More and more "thanks" to you!
|eng9=
Ka~ppa kappa kappa ka-...
At any rate! Come and buy stuff!

| notes         =
{{note|deth}}These lyrics come about from an incorrect romanization (also present in the PV) of "sagi desu!", meaning "It's a scam!".

}}